1 Cup Margarine (I would use butter here, but this is the old lady's recipe and she thinks that is gross)
1/2 Cup granulated sugar
2 Eggs (lightly beaten)
4 Cups All Purpose Flour
8 tps Baking Powder
1 tsp Salt
3/4 Cup Milk
Preheat your oven to 450 F.
Mix all your dry ingredients together and cut in margarine (let's pretend it's butter though because that's the way nature intended) until it resembles corn meal. Here is where I would add my eggs to my milk and beat them a bit and then gradually add it in to the mix. You can do it however you want though, maybe I just think it looks prettier that way.
Divide your dough in to two so it is easier to work with and flour your surface. Pat dough out (no need for heavy rolling pins, people) and use a floured cookie cutter so you don't have to worry about your dough sticking to it.
NOW! If your biscuits are thicker bake them at 450 F for 15 minutes. If you're into the thin, about 12 minutes at the same temp.
8 Cups Strawberries (2 1/2 pounds) hulled and sliced (you will notice that there are far less berries in the pictures, you're smart!)
6 tbsp granulated sugar
Put 3 cups of your berries into a bowl and mash them with a potato masher. Great for releasing the day's stresses. You can yell things while you're doing it if you wish. I'm not going to give you ideas but if it's needed it will come naturally. Add the rest of your berries to the ones you just beat the crap out of, add your sugar and mix it all together. Let the berries sit for a while (around 30 minutes or until you can no longer handle it anymore and must consume them).
Put your mixing bowl and beater/whisker-majigger attachment in the freezer. Be careful when you take it out though because it gets really cold and isn't pleasant on the hand.
1 Cup Heavy Cream
1 tbsp Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla extract
Add all ingredients to your bowl and beat on low speed for 30 seconds or so. Switch to medium speed and continue the beating until it starts to thicken and leaves that trail thing they're always talking about on the tv. Give 'er to high speed and beat until you reach those peaks you're looking for (soft or hard, that's your prerogative.)
Or seriously, just squeeze the stuff out of the can into a bowl and say voila!
Take your biscuit and put some berries on it, then put some whipped cream on top of that then put the top of the biscuit on and a bit more of the berries and some whipped cream.